Script (Draft)

Ok, this is my first attempt at the scprit. In it are all of the scenes that we are thinking of using plus some that we might not (a few more could also still be added). I've tried to make the dialougue as effective as i can. If any one has any suggestions for improvement or any worries please tell me and i'll try and re-work it.

DRAFT

“HOW TO BE A TRUE 21^ST CENTURY BRITISH CITIZEN”

FADE IN:

INT. CITY SIDEWALK

Tom, just an average person, walks down the sidewalk minding his own business. Suddenly he is confronted by a voice.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

You there!

In a gesture of surprise and confusion, Tom hesitantly points towards himself wondering if it is his attention this voice wants.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Are you not enjoying the good life, not reaping the full benefits of the

British lifestyle? Well then follow our short step-by-step guide and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling one of life’s greatest goals.

Without warning, Tom finds himself forced into the star role of an infomercial. Out of nowhere, an overly enthusiastic and patriotic co-actor with a beaming grin jumps out from the right to meet Tom, all to his shock and surprise. Then another co-actor equally does the same but coming from the left side.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TITLES:

VISIT AN ART GALLERY

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. ART GALLERY

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Visit an art gallery and witness the many delightful and thoroughly engaging masterpieces on display.

Tom visits an art gallery. He approaches a platform that displays a paperclip. Toms following gesture is one of bewilderment.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Fascinating

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TITLES:

PARTICIPATE IN SPORTS

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. SPORTS FIELD

Tom now finds himself in a sports field awaiting the next challenge. Suddenly he is bombarded with sports equipment and flattened by some very physical Rugby players.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Being a British citizen means that you must participate in a British sport. Field Hockey, Football, Cricket or Rugby. You see? Now you have proved yourself to be a real man.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TITLES:

HELPING THE LESS FORTUNATE

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. STREETS

Tom takes the time to tend to the needs of a homeless person by offering him some change. However this homeless person is just providing a distraction as another creeps up behind Tom and steals his wallet. The two were obviously working as a together.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Homelessness is becoming one of the biggest problems in Britain. A true British citizen and good sport must take time out to help the needy, bust must also be cautious of those devilish swindlers.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TITLES:

USING PUBLIC TRANSPORT

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. ROAD

Tom has just boarded a bus at 11:40 PM which is on its routine journey to the city centre. Tom walks down the isle and takes a seat. With it being late at night there appears to be some strange characters on the bus. For a short period the seat next to tom is vacant but a grubby looking woman soon makes her way down and eventually takes the seat. To Toms disgust, this woman has terrible flu and is coughing and sneezing without a care for Toms well being.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

As a British citizen it is advised that you make use of one of Britain’s finest

and most reliable  transportation services.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TITLES:

THE BRITISH FOOD OF CHOICE

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. CITY SIDEWALK

After an evening at the local bar, Tom makes his way to a kebab wagon in the street to purchase some food. The food salesman at the wagon is clearly in an unhygienic state but its business as usual for him.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

After a night on the razz, why not treat yourself to an elegant dish from one of Britain’s finest establishments.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TITLES:

SHOW YOU PATRIOTISM

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT.PARK

Tom displays his patriotism in a very uncomfortable and distressed manner by waving a miniature Union Jack flag. As soon as some traditional British weather kicks with thunder and rain, unable to tolerate any more so called British trends he pulls out some of his hair and lets out a yell of desperation. Within a matter of moments he is conveniently cut off camera.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

And remember folks, a waving of good old glory every ten minutes, each day is guaranteed to put you up there among Britain’s proudest patriots and really lift your spirits. Now, don’t you feel just splendid for truly living, for truly being British? Of course you do.

END