Script (For voice recording session)

“HOW TO BE A TRUE 21^ST CENTURY BRITISH CITIZEN”

SCRIPT FOR VOICE RECORDING SESSION

SCENE. INTRODUCTION

Tom, just an average person, walks down the sidewalk minding his own business. Suddenly he is confronted by a voice.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

You there!

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Are you not enjoying the good life, not reaping the full benefits of the

British lifestyle? Well then follow our short step-by-step guide and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling one of life’s greatest goals.

SCENE. VISIT AN ART GALLERY

Tom visits an art gallery. He approaches a platform that displays a paperclip. Toms following gesture is one of bewilderment.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Visit an art gallery and witness the many delightful and thoroughly engaging masterpieces on display.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Fascinating

SCENE. PARTICIPATE IN SPORTS

Tom now finds himself in a sports field awaiting the next challenge. Suddenly he is bombarded with sports equipment and flattened by some very physical Rugby players.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

Being a British citizen means that you must participate in a British sport. Field Hockey, Football, Cricket or Rugby. You see? Now you have proved yourself to be a real man.

SCENE. CLUBBING

Following up on some good advice Tom Decides to visit a nightclub. Unfortunately for him he is so far behind in social trends that it isn’t long before he comes to the realisation that he is painfully out of place.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

A favourite pastime of the British citizen is clubbing. Expressing yourself

and demonstrating your classy taste in fashion is sure to draw an

admiring audience to your attention

SCENE. SHOW YOUR PATRIOTISM

Tom displays his patriotism in a very uncomfortable and distressed manner by waving a miniature Union Jack flag. As soon as some traditional British weather kicks with thunder and rain, unable to tolerate any more so called British trends he pulls out some of his hair and lets out a yell of desperation. Within a matter of moments he is conveniently cut off camera.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR

And remember folks, a waving of good old glory every ten minutes, each day is guaranteed to put you up there among Britain’s proudest patriots and really lift your spirits. Now, don’t you feel just splendid for truly living, for truly being British? Of course you do.

END